Via Chicago
— Errata Movie Podcast —
Fifteen Months Ago
We were told that a blog should be updated every day or readers would drift. Freshness is critical, our advisors said, and since we do aim to be critical we heeded their advice, even though they commanded fees in excess of what might be deemed reasonable. At their urging, we instituted a new plan whereby one item would be deleted from this site each day. The message to the reader was clear: check back regularly to see which item was removed.
Or So We Thought
At first we dismissed the emails that asked us about the very freshness we had so recently embraced. Where are the updates? readers would ask. Look. The post about the McSweeney's mural: gone. But the emails persisted long after the scheme went into effect, like the spitefully-trained talking bird who will not pipe down about the cracker and who could easily be hushed with a maneuver similar to the one used to bring a ketchup bottle to bear against an intruder's noggin: a grasp 'round the neck and a whip overhead, blackjack-style. Will you please be quiet please?
We have come to suspect that the problem is not with the ketchup-bottle-blackjack-bird but with the intruder's noggin, or more specifically with the advice that spills so easily out of it. Also his lack of crackers. Rather than waste hard-won money on a sixteenth month of service from our as yet unproven advisors, we are terminating their retainer very soon — ok, yes, immediately — and reversing the freshness agenda forthwith. No more daily deletions. Damn their oily hides.
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