Via Chicago
— Errata Movie Podcast —
When we said recently that the fingers of film critics who take notes during screenings should be removed, one per infraction, a number of people mistakenly labeled this as a call for vengeance. We're not a vengeful web site. We seek only justice. Some critics recount far too many details, more than the capacity of typical brains, owing to chicken scratches in the dark. Did we say justice? No, sorry, not justice. Anti-piracy. No, security. Yes yes, this is strictly for security reasons. Critics wear itchy jackets. Everyone knows it. They raise their shoulders and roll their heads to sooth tweed-abraded necks. They raise their elbows. They crack their bones. They thrust their arms out at reel changes. They're accustomed to sparsely attended press screenings. They forget the regular movie-goer seated in the next seat who gets a finger in the cheek. And the one with a knuckle in his peanut butter cup. Lop the scribblers' digits off at their diamond encrusted rings, we say, for you and for me and for generations to come.
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